Red Letters

"How different would our world be if Christians were really living as little Christs?"  ~CS Lewis

"Most of my life, I have prayed that these sorts of transformations would occur almost magically. That I would wake up one day and be a totally different person. That all of my desires would be godly. That I would have a natural inclination to deny myself, pick up my cross, and follow Jesus. That I would suddenly just love my enemy. But it did't happen like that. Transformation did occur when I would hear the words of Jesus and obey them, no matter how I felt."

"Why don't we act? Why don't we choose to make a difference? One reason is because we're afraid. We spend most of our time trying to protect what we have, fearing what would happen if that went away. When we do this, we become shackled to our possessions. We can't reach far enough to offer compassion because our arms are too busy holding all that we own."

"He (Jesus) came to die for the world, the whole world. Yeah, everyone. Jesus came to die for the terrorist who wants to blow up the building where you work. He came to die for Osama bin Laden. He came to die for the pervert, the child molester, and the convicted rapist.  Consider Jesus' last act of compassion before breathing his final breath: He forgave a thief who was dying on the cross next to him. This was not a wrongly convicted man of high standing, but a dirty, rotten, rightly convicted thief. I suspect the man lived a horrible life. Certainly he didn't deserve to be forgiven. And of course, that's the crux of the gospel message. I don't deserve to be forgiven either."

"At the end of the day I'm left with the responsibility to do something. To reach out with compassion to the neighbor across the street and the neighbor across the ocean."

~Red Letters by David Platt, from chapters 1-2

no pizza :(

I'm pretty careful with my money, so I haven't had much of an opportunity to really "sacrifice" anything in particular in order to give the money away. Until tonight that is! Tonight was laundry night. Note: I hate laundry night. So I always balance the crummy fact that I have to do laundry with the joyous fact that the laundromat is next door to my favorite pizza place. Yum. Yep, you got it. Laundry night = pizza night.

Until tonight. Because that slice of pizza costs $3.24. Plus I usually get a drink. So tonight I did laundry, went for a walk while the laundry was in the laundromat, and then came home, all without the faintest hint of a slice of pizza.

$3.24 has now been officially saved to give kids who are dying of thirst some water. I guess it was worth not having the pizza, haha.

~Sarah~

GO

One of the central components of the radical experiment is to GO. To leave our context, even if it's for a short time, and to GO somewhere, preferably to another country. I've heard this shoved down my throat ever since the early days of Sunday School: "GO therefore, and make disciples of ALL nations..." And countless ambitious Christians have guilted countless younger Christians into believing that "good" Christians GO...leaving their belongings, their families, and their countries to pursue the heathen in foreign missions.

Certainly it has been the cry of my heart since I was a child. GO. I don't like America very much, and I have been attracted to other cultures since I was young. When I was in only third grade, I would announce to anyone who would listen that I wanted to be a missionary to Africa when I grew up.

Not much has changed. I can't stand this American obsession with our knowledge, our stuff, and ourselves. I can't stand the heart-attitudes of our culture or the lukewarm nature of our Church. I WANT to GO. It isn't even just about being the "good Christian" or "being willing to give up everything for Him." I WANT to GO. I can't wait to GO.

So, this lines up, right? God called us to go into all nations. I can't wait to get out of here. I should just leave, right?

WRONG. Because when it comes right down to it, God has prepared each one of us for our own good works. He knit us together when we were still in our mothers' wombs, and He has spent our entire lives calling us and preparing us for His plans for us. And He has already laid the foundation for the good works He wants us to do: "For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them" (Eph 2:10, NASB). He knows what He wants each of us to do, and He calls us each uniquely.

And you will notice in scripture that while He gave His 11 the command to GO, they didn't all go to the same place. They didn't all start running off to save the heathen in foreign missions. Sure, some of them did. But what about Peter? Did Peter GO? 

Maybe he did, but it wasn't to the heathen in foreign missions. You see, when Christ called Peter, He called him the "rock" upon which He would build His church. Peter was called to GO, yes, but he was called to go build the church. He was called to GO...to the circumcised. 

We all take this for granted, but think about it. Peter had been instructed by His Lord to "GO into ALL nations." He had been told that he would be the foundation of the Church. And yet it was not to those "heathen" uncircumcised" that he was sent. "...I (Paul) had been entrusted with the uncircumcised, just as Peter had been the circumcised, for He who effectually worked for Peter in his apostleship to the circumcised effectually worked for me also to the Jews" (Galatians 2:7-8). While Paul was called as a missionary, Peter was called to the religious leaders of the day. He built the Church by going to the "church" and preaching the good news to those who thought they already knew it. Sound familiar?

When you think about it, this is the way that God has chosen to use His people. As a body. We all receive different gifts. We are all given different ministries. And yes, we are all told to GO. But we are NOT all told to go into foreign nations. Sometimes leaving our comfort zone and putting everything on the line for God happens HERE, right where He placed us in the first place. 

I've always felt a strange connection to Peter. I admire Him for how real He is with Jesus and for how deeply He seems to love Him. I also sympathize with him on the faith issue. I am totally the person who has the incredible faith to start walking across the water...and I am also the person who starts sinking a few moments later. I'm the person who will live and breathe and die for Christ...and I'm also the sort of person who might deny Him in moments of absolute doubt or fear. Like Peter, God has given me mountain-moving faith to accomplish great things for His Kingdom. And like Peter, my own flesh and logic interferes far too often, and I find myself sinking every time I take my eyes off of my Lord. 

I now see this even greater connection to Peter. Because, like Peter, I believe that God is calling me to GO. But I no longer see this happening on the foreign missions field. I believe that God is calling me to GO to America, to the cities, to the church. I believe that God is calling me to live for Him and to die for Him, but to do it HERE. Like Peter, I believe that God is calling me to the religious people of my day. I believe He is calling me to help build the Church by going to the "church" and preaching the good news to those who think they already know it.  

All praise to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who knows me so intimately, loves me so deeply, has called me so specifically, and has gifted me so uniquely. I have so much to learn about when, and where, and how to GO. But I no longer doubt that in fulfilling His unique purposes for me, I will be GOing, just the way He commanded me.

~Sarah~

commitment #4

Went to a women's Bible study at a local church tonight. I was beyond terrified. Why is it that I can walk into experiences that are really dangerous (both physically and spiritually) with next to no fear, but walking into a room with 12 kind, caring Christian women beyond terrifies me?

After giving a mumbled and frightened introduction, I sank into my chair and started praying. I find myself rather ridiculous. How is God ever going to use someone who is terrified to death by people???? We have a long way to go.....

The  Bible study itself seems like it will be very good for me. There are a lot of women there who are very transparent and friendly and it seems like I could learn a lot from them. I look forward to the potential of being discipled.

~Sarah~

epic failure?

This "radical experiment" was very much on my mind and heart as I was driving home from church today. I drove past a man with a shopping cart fishing cans out of a garbage can. All I could think about was how cold he must be and whether or not he was hungry. I decided to give him some money, so I drove to the nearest ATM to get some cash. It took FOREVER.

By the time I had found my way back to the street where I had first found the man, he was nowhere in sight. Fail #1. At least I'm now saving my cash so that the NEXT time I have the urge to give someone money I'll actually have some.


I drove all around Albany talking with God, mostly about my complete inability to listen to His voice. As I was driving, I saw this woman sitting on the steps of a church building. This woman had been there half an hour before when I had driven by to find an ATM.


Filled with both compassion and fear, I decided to stop. Unfortunately for me, I have absolutely no idea how to start a conversation with strangers. I tried, I honestly tried my best, but I'll be honest, it was awkward. 


But the horrible thing is, when I asked if she was OK, there were tears in her eyes. She told me there was no reason why she would not be alright. We went back and forth and back and forth, exchanging little more than pleasantries. When I asked her if she wanted to talk, tears welled up in her eyes and she almost completely broke down. But she said no. Repeatedly. 


I asked for wisdom, but I had so much trouble hearing Daddy's voice. I didn't know if I should stay or go. I didn't know what to do. So I just sat there. I sat there. And I waited. And I prayed. 


And then she got up and left. No conversation. No sharing of the Gospel. Just a quiet afternoon sitting silent on the steps of the church together.


But...I had compassion and I took action. I think it's a start. But I have so, so, so much to learn.....




~Sarah~

The Radical Experiment Take One

So I just finished reading "Radical" by David Platt (incredible book), at the end of which he proposes a "radical experiment." The radical experiment really isn't all that radical, so it's something even this lukewarm Christian is ready to attempt.

I decided to blog my experiences with this experiment--my inevitable failures, along with the ways that God is changing me through it--so that hopefully some of you can be inspired to try it too. Can you imagine what this world would look like if all of us lukewarm believers started living (even a little bit) radically???

The radical experiment is as follows:

Over the next year....

1. I will pray for the entire world.
2. I will read through the entire Word
3. I will sacrifice my money for a specific purpose.
4. I will spend my time in another context
5. I will commit my life to multiplying community

For me, I am choosing to commit to the following:

1. I will pray for a different country or people group every day for the next 365 days.

2. I will continue how I am currently reading and make sure that I read through the entire Bible at least once in the next 365 days.

3. David emphasizes the sacrifice part of this commitment. So I will sacrifice by giving my personal spending money, giving my money for new clothes, and/or selling my "stuff"so that I will have enough money to give a well through world vision. I will NOT sacrifice my current giving to provide money for this.
4-5 I still need to pray about these two...but by the end of this year I will serve God for at least one week (David's suggestion) somewhere outside of my general area (albany OR western NY for me), and I will become plugged into a small group of believers who are intent on discipling others.



~Sarah~


PS: I might be a little bit terrified about number 3 right now...I figured out how much money I could afford to give if I took away all "luxury" spending, and it was about 1/5 the cost of a well!!!!! Hahahahaha...this should be one exciting adventure of a ride!!!!!